Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
