Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just tell him i said nine months
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize