You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
