I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
