Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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