I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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