I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
