I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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