google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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