this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
