Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
