i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
