How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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