Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize