found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
