just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
