Swine flu. Run for my life!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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