i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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