I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i would one night stand the shit outta him
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
