Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize