we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
