Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
