I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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