I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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