he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
