i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
