how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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