There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
