You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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