the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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