love makes seman taste better
nutella sex= disaster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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