I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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