All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
