If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
