I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
