I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
