Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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