I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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