hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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