Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
