man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
