pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
