For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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