he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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