Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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