we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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