like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
