spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
