the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
