Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
