I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
