oh fat girl friday strikes again...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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