Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
