Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My cat gives me a boner
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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