HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
