We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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