i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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