Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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