i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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