guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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